04 September 2008

DNA: Vending machines?

Here's a new resource for strange and funny news. It caught my eye because of its article on the future possibilities of DNA vending machines.

Disclaimer: This is in the realm of fun, humor and other jetlag-alleviating treatments.

Hmmmm ... want to get a lot of relatives tested in one place? Photo booths already seem to be on the scene of social events. Imagine getting a DNA booth for your social event? The possibilities are there. It may be easier than trailing Uncle Max during the party trying to grab a glass and test the only hold-out of your great-great-grandfather's direct line - and Max may have more fun doing it. All you'd need to do is pay for the booth. Getting genetic DNA samples from those who don't want to be tested requires some creativity - and a somewhat deep pocket.

Read NonsenseNews.net for the story.

Chicago, IL – Have you checked out the new vending machine in the break room? your co-worker asks. No, you say and ask, Why? It’s weird, he replies. How so? you inquire. I can’t even explain it man, he replies. C’mon, you say and it goes on like this for some time until you get off your lazy butt and walk yourself down to the break room and there it is. Left of the soda, but right of the snack machine. No, not the sink. Your other right. Ah. What? D.N.A.? What does it sell? Ten dollars! That seems kinda steep.

DNA Vending Machines are now popping up all over workplaces across North America and Europe. These machines dispense easy to use DNA Test Kits that can be used by two people looking to find out if they are related and how closely.

A kit costs $10 and is no larger than the box set of Season 1 of LOST. It contains two cotton swabs, four plastic pouches for hair follicles and a small, baseball sized device with a paper feeder that reads the DNA samples, lights up and prints out results.

MENO-DNA, the distributor of DNA Test Kit Vending Machines has reported strong interest and sales since installing the machines in March. “The technology is very exciting to people and they are happy to finally have such unlimited access.” MENO-DNA seems to strongly believe that there is money to be made in vending machine-style DNA Test Kits.

Read more to learn who might be buying if this is ever available, and other equally funny if false stories.

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