Humor: Congress to ban same-Soundex marriage

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Chris Dunham's The Genealogue always has something to laugh about, such as this one (June 2006).

Congress Considering Marriage Ban
A Genealogue Exclusive
Today in Washington, conservatives in Congress continued their push to ban same-Soundex marriage.

"It just confuses the children," explained Nebraska Democratic Senator Ben Nelson, who is running for re-election this year. "And Lord knows the children in my state are confused enough, what with the hippity-hop music and all."

Same-Soundex marriage is legal in twelve states, with seven others considering legalization. The problem arises when a couple married in one state moves to another which bans the practice.

"We had a case where a feller named 'Strader' went off to Vermont with a woman named 'Streeter' and got married," Nelson said. "Now you just know their kids are going to ask someday, 'Why were my parents born with the same Soundex code?' I think I'd be too embarrassed to explain it to them."

Opponents of the proposed ban charge that Nelson and his Republican allies are just being "homophonophobic."

"Having similar-sounding surnames doesn't mean two people can't fall in love and raise a family together," responds Patricia England-Engelman, founder of Same-Soundex Americans for Marriage Equality. "It just means that their kids might be born with webbed toes."

Senator Nelson isn't buying it.

"Marriage should be between a man and a woman with different-sounding names. I'm just following what the Bible says. The first two people were named 'Adam' and 'Eve'—not 'Adam Martin' and 'Eve Morton.'

Thanks, Chris, for keeping us laughing!
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